FOLLOW @SocaLm_
I will promo you and give you shoutouts to help you gain followers.
FOLLOW @SocaLm_
FOLLOW @SocaLm_
FOLLOW @SocaLm_
FOLLOW @SocaLm_
Bored and getting into this instagram flow of things
Follow me @ssrai
Follow me @ssrai
Follow me @ssrai
Follow me @ssrai
Follow back as well =)
Good or bad my life is already predetermined and there is nothing i can do about it. This is where I wonder if I am doing the right thing, just so many emotions i felt before and wow I am honestly confused but yet I stay here mesmerized.
I feel like a little kid when I got my first “girlfriend” I acted in a little kid manner and think in my head i have a crush on her and I want to talk to her but dont have nothing to talk about.
I will figure out something but I just want to find out if this is right for me.
Her<3
And yes I am honestly getting emotionally mushy and all that shit not sure why.
Honestly, if you said hi I would melt. I miss you and its to much for words but I know your feelings are lost. Now all I have to do is survive. I will continue waking up in the morning thinking if today is the day she will say hi..
til another day
Lost. I never felt this way. I need to find someone to confide in because thats the reason I feel so weak now. I never talked to people and now I am hurt.
I guess I am in love but one day it will all go away and I dont want that day to come. I am stuck in mixed emotions and I dont know what to do. I try and keep myself occupied but I know that wont last long. Honestly I feel so distant from every single person I was once close to but being so far from you hurts the most. I spend most of my times alone now and its alright sometimes but other times I just think about the past we had and I cant help but smile and say how much i miss those times. Its not that I want it this way its just I am completely idle and I dont know how to handle this. I am always the one with answers and a carefree attitude but i know this is a delicate situation which I can assure you I wont know how to handle. I always went about everything in a reckless manner and it landed me right where I deserved. Alone.. Its hard to find someone to get close to again because my mind, heart, or body wont allow me to do so. I say hi and bye but nothing ever as strong as the emotions i still have. I type the night away on tumblr because there is literally no one to talk to about this and I know there never will be, and I am ok with that. I lay here just thinking and ever night I wish for the same thing but knowing how the world works for me, I know it will never come thru. I never wanted from anyone nor asked from anyone and I will stay that way. I was once at the bottom and brought myself up and thats the point by myself. What is really in store for me and that is the real question i ask myself all the time. I have some people that are close but I know it isnt fully genuine and that is fine with me honestly. I just make it by in life and thats fine, I will strive to make you happy in the future and provide all that I ever wanted to. I will cherish you like never before and hold you and never let you. You will be taken care of everyday of your life , I just hope YOU know that.
That is all til next time.
I still text her but its a contact with a random number so it goes through to no one but if she only knew sighhh…. This is going to be a long recovery i know that. The one you love will be off with someone else while I am sitting here alone but I guess it happens.
